My Glass Heart--by Heather Rachael Owens
These thoughts surround me. They make me tense. I can’t seem to climb over this mile high fence. My heart is so empty, so cold, and so hollow. God please show which path I should follow. My past hunts me down like a lion it’s prey, and I suffer from regrets day after day. The nights I spent crying on the bedroom floor remind me how much I need you more, than any human’s love that they can offer, sometimes I feel so hypocritical you’d think me a scoffer. God I love you, but this hurt won’t let me go. The regrets I feel are beginning to show. I’m afraid of what he will think of me, when he finds out just how sinful I can be. Those seven deadly sins, they claw at my skin. It’s a fight every night trying not to give in, to the temptation that whispers sweet death in my ear, I cannot do this without you, my Jesus, I fear. I think back on the night I gave it all and I think with shock at how far I did fall. My heart was as ice, I thought his touch would suffice. I thought love was a game that I was trying to win, but it only led me to commit the ultimate sin. My mind and my heart became like callus feet, I would give anything for those sins to delete. My glass heart is bleeding, with every beat it shatters, with every beat it breaks at the thought of how much my sins matter and how much my heart aches. God, I know you’ve forgiven the things I have done, please don’t let them affect the love I think I have won. I want a second chance at this thing called love, I want to do it right as you watch from above. Remind him I’m human, I’ve lived through so much. I need to feel a pure and holy touch. I’ve got one last thing to say before this rhythm that I’m in slips away. God remind me that love is everlasting, patient, and true, and that I must always remember to first love you.
